While I have a few like-minded friends, and while I enjoy being around them when I can, I have no one to help me move forward. I do, though, have people that I can move forward with, but we still lack direction. No one who knows the skills and has the experiences to teach. The shittiest part of not having community is that there's a lack of experienced people ready to teach the unexperienced.
The one thing that myself and lot of people need right now is that direction. Not a ruler, but the wise 'elder' (although age has nothing to do with it) that can answer questions and help teach through experience.
It is utterly the most alienating thing in our insane hyper-destructive culture, because even if everyone I knew around me could agree, we'd still be isolated and pacified by our inexperience.
So right now? I read, teach myself, prepare for college..., etc., but book knowledge doesn't come close to actual experience. And teaching myself, I can only do so much. The motivation isn't there. Everything is so distracting and repressing. I'm motivated enough to learn, but not to experience (at least by myself. Once again, with direction, this would be a much more fitting process) and I don't think that's out of the ordinary.
I know some "anarchists" that would flip upon hearing this. To some, I'm openly admitting that individuals can't take care of themselves completely; that we need some sort of hierarchy and authority to live happily. I don't think this is the case. I'm merely stressing the importance of community. I'm not an altruist, by far, nor do I take kindly to the idea of being one, and I don't believe the collective is 'more important' than the individual. But besides all of that, we are social animals, as of now, and having the diversity of young and old, experienced and inexperienced, male and female and everything in between, etc., is extremely important.
Why am I hoping for the future? Planning on the future, extensively? These are not things I condone, but I feel a victim of it.
I don't need to 'hope', when I can 'do'. There isn't a 'future' to 'plan' on so much as there is a 'now' to 'act' on. I know this, but why can't I be an example of this?
Maybe I'm just blaming my own laziness on a nonexistent "elder" that I demand to appear, when really in self-denial of reality. That things need to be done and experienced, and if I don't, then that's just too bad. I'll suffer the consequences.
So will everyone else.
Who's fault is it, really?
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1 comment:
hell, give it time. Like the old saying: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
There are plenty of resources right at your fingertips. They may not beat you on the head to find them, but the answers you seek are hidden in plain sight, more or less. If you want community, cultivate it. And accept what you find as what it is until you can add to it. It happens in accretions, like a coral reef.
Life is not a banquet; it's a potluck dinner. If you're not gettin fed, you may not be bringin enough to the table.
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